Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wanna know why you're still single???

Ladies, please.  If I had a dime for every time I had a friend complain that all men are losers or pricks or that some random guy just "fucked them and left" (boo hoo)  I would be rich.
What slays me with equal annoyance are the absolutely fantastic girls friends I have who are witty - successful, hot and sensual.  All with LOSER boyfriends.  Why?

The following:

1.  I remember an amazing Cosby Show episode that I watched when I was like 9 or 10.  It had lasting memories and penetrated what was to become my mantra when dating a real person, instead of Shawn Cassidy.  In it, Dad Cosby is annoyed with his daughters choice of Fiance'.  To explain, he says ( and this is the part to perk your eyes up over)   " Imagine a BEAUUtiful Steak!  Imagine it covered with anything you love!!  Mushrooms, sauteed onions, Oscar - anything!  MMMM.  Sound good?  Now let's say I presented it to you on a garbage can lid".

Did I make the point clear?  Some of my amazing girlfriends - present themselves on a garbage can lid.  A hungry man will still eat it.  He's just going to be a bit embarrassed that he did.  And he will treat you like the garbage you promised you were.

more to come


  1. I totally remember that episode and holy cow you couldn't be more right!! I think so much of this also comes from some womens' feelings that they 'need' a man's affection in order to be successful. When, in fact, they need to love themselves first. I mean, truly, madly, deeply love themselves...

  2. Right - and it's not the clothes, accessories or hygiene. It's the girl who makes out with some random guy ( who later gives her a fake cell phone number) has imediate sex with him and then wonders why... "no engagement ring"

  3. True story:

    My Husband and I are in Mexico, drinking at 3a.m. in the bar. As David is getting more drinks, an extremely drunk guy starts staggering to me - presumably to "hit on me". However, he falls to the ground and when he stands up, he is facing a different table with a different girl at it. He proceeds to continue to HER. She starts making out with him, he is so drunk he literally tips backwards in his chair and hits his head - and she proceeds to invite him to her room. As she is steering him unsteadily, he has a drunk moment of clarity and stops. To which she shoves a beer in his face and they proceed to her room. the next morning ( we ar still drinking) the same girl is at a table of other girls consoling her. The guy walks past her table - looks discreetly at her face and then behind her, motions to his friends that yes - she is the ONE he banged the night before. As he walks back to his friends - her eyes frantically beg him for some sort of acknowledgment - and getting none, she again crumples and is consoled. My husband, being nice, said " awe that's too bad" to which I replied 'What? She dragged a drunk guy to her room for a one night stand! What did she think was going to happen when she woke up? That he would be on one knee with a dozen roses and a Tiffany's box?"